A friend said the other day" I hate you". My reaction would have been somewhat different had I not known the Toltec wisdom. Fortunately due to that I knew that my friend was in an angry state of mind so this statement just reflected the sentiment of that state. I know when people are happy they would shower praise on us and when they are angry they would admonish us. So if we take things literally we would be in a flux all the time. If we take things personally we would suffer and that just because somebody didn’t mean it.
So I know if a friend say, I hate you today, I know I would hear I love you tomorrow.
u seem like a TRUE friend. i mean you could've said or thought that your friend really "meant" what he/she said. :D
ReplyDeleteLoved last line...
hmm....HATE...is a very strong word...
ReplyDeleteI always suggest people....not to use this stroing word until or unlees they really mean it....
I know...people say somtimes...what they don't mean at all....
But...even then....HATE is a very strong word....
I will think at least thousand times before emitting such word from my mouth...more over to use on my loved ones....????....
Friendship...is a very sensitive relationship....
HATE in friendship....is like DIVORCE in merriage....
Agreed with riZ
ReplyDeletei too have such a friend whom i keep saying bad and serious comments like i hate you, but later on i regret.. not as much as i should though, because he knows that I donot mean this in real.. its just anger who is speaking from me.
anger is something very bad, it can spoil relationships, thatswhy Holy Prophet has asked strictly to stay away from it..
My son agrees with you. I'll be back.
ReplyDeleterIZ friend is the one who is always true.
ReplyDeleteThinking
ReplyDeletewords are only symbols and the meaning that we give them, actually gives any meaning to them.
ReeBz anger eats up any meaning from our life, so it is called haram.
ReplyDeleteConnie your son agrees and you?
ReplyDeleteAwhh bless that's very true!!
ReplyDeleteSomeone once said 'if someone throws at you a ball of negativity, simply don't catch it!'. Life is how we perceive it.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts with us.
Kind Regards and God bless
Thanks thevoiceofasoul for your kind words
ReplyDeleteWhenever I've been shortcircuiting...that's my word for when my brain and emotions are in a tangled mess all of a sudden...I try out the 4 agreements and over and over they save me from being the fool and they smooth out my thwarted thought paths:
ReplyDeleteSo I try to:
1) not take anything personally
(my #1 most needed piece of advise)
2) to not make assumptions
(this one's essential for a writer-journalist-activist such as I am & maybe most of all it's a help as a mother and wife)
3) to do my very best
(so often I feel so so far down the ladder of perfection - and yet - lo & behold if I take this path sometimes the result is even BETTER than perfect because my actions become filled with my heart.)
4) to always tell the truth
(Even in little things...it's like when we want to skip over details others find important just to save us time & energy and while we always have the right to retain the 5th amendment - to keep our mouth shut - often spilling out the actual truth in some detail with folk we trust saves misunderstanding and feelings of strain later...and helps us with our own personal disciplines.)
SO, Yes, Dar Sahib, I do agree with you and the Toltec wisdom as well. (Finally I'm back slowly here in the "family of RR blogs" - and your's particularly today.)
Like, you, I have been blessed by the wisdom of "The Four Agreements" and although I haven't searched these out elsewhere are so so simple yet so inestimably profound that they are surely everywhere hidden throughout our other great wisdoms of the world at large.
For me, I've been changed forever by these 4 beautiful agreements with self almose each & everytime I have a startling rush of emotional reaction to anything someone says that is so negative or intimidating or even rejecting as you experienced with this friend.
How often the truth of these agreements becomes so quickly apparent whenever I try them out and simply wait. And even when the wisdom is not readily apparent...I just wait and know that sooner or later the truth will come through.
How we could all help save our friendships and offer the gift of saving face to one another if we simply would not take such things so personally.
Thanx for the beautiful, honest, humble reminder.
Always your friend...
What a remarkably beautiful comment on FOUR AGREEMENTS and Toltec wisdom, you have summed up everything so well and brilliantly, thanks dear friend Connie.
ReplyDelete@Connie
ReplyDeleteWow... :D Thanks for sharing these agreements Connie
We hate our friends when they become succesful, may be thats why your friend want to hate you? Did you ask why? You should because even if you are expecting her to say I love you next time you should give her some time to voice out what she has been suiffering from.It will strengthen your bond and next time she will think alot before saying such thing to you. Or if you think that its better not to scratch anything beneath this hating you understand better, its your friend.
ReplyDeleteby the way I like your other post on other blog, about married people. oh yes, your friend may be nagry because of your strong marriage?
i have said this phrase "I hate u" couple of times to some of my friends but i never meant it that's why my friends always smiled. this blog reminds me of all those conversations. thank you for such a nice post
ReplyDelete@t, I am glad that this post revived your certain memories.
ReplyDelete